Good points all, David, Thanks!
1) TYPO! AAAAAAH! Thanks for pointing that out!
2) You're absolutely right about the fonts. My usual rule is never more than 3 fonts per page. I thought I got away with it here, but apparently not.
3) 4:3 - you're right. But I was obligeated to shoot this with the host's camera. I'm between cameas right now - thinking seriously about that new V1u!
4) No Fleas Were Harmed During the Taping of This Video - It's true. Walt prides himself on a Curelty Free Circus. I actually thought about putting that in the credits.
5) Walt wrote and performed that song. I'll pass along your compliments.
6) Thanks!
7) I'm most pleased to hear. Thanks again David!

I enjoyed it. Kept my interest and just the right length.

Wouldn't it be nice to have a chell specker in Vegas?

>1) TYPO! AAAAAAH! Thanks for pointing that out!

I'm just putting a little bump here. I see that sometimes folk get LOTS of comments on their work. I'm hoping for the same. I just want to be better in my next project, or, make this one better.

I'll be honest, I stopped watching it the first time and went back and watched it to be fair in my critique. First off, I think the lengthy brief case walking scene kills all enthusiasm for the piece. If it's about the brief case, cool, open with it and then move on. It might as well just started inside the room since the walking has nothing to do with anything. Just cause "we rented this dolly" doesn't mean you use it. There NEEDS to be a hook in the beginning, otherwise why should we take time to watch it? My guess others feel the same way, thus the low feedback on this piece which took many hours to shoot and edit and lots of hard work.

Cut the first 2 minutes and 20 seconds (kill the title scene, the CA background sunset, ALL of the walking, the apt intro). Start at the radio tunning, cut to brief case opening, cut to a real short shot of the guy looking at camera (it's goofy and awkward and that background needs to be seen as little as possible), keep the cool sound montage of radio stations and cut right to the flea under the magnifying glass. That should be the first 10-15 seconds. From there, you need to make a decision which way you want to go with the piece. The juxtaposition of the ESPN feel with the crazy lab coat guy doesn't work.

It needs to be shorter and more focused. I'd re-cut the thing and focus on either:

A.) the ironic nature of the ESPN coverage of the flea Olympics (minimizing lab coat guy)

-or-

B.) focus the quirky esoteric underground word of flea circus competitions and kill the ESPN stuff.

I'd go with B personally. I'd keep the radio, the close ups, and change the music and go for a darker brother's Quay (Tool stop-motion video) feel. Perhaps black and white, with a vignette around the border.

Just my .0002 cents. I do appreciate the hard work, but this one doesn't do it for me. It's too literal, predictable, and straight forward in its current form.

Jeff

The sports competition aspect of the flea fight was an absolute blast, but I agree with Jeff that there was too much distraction from other irrelevant parts.

It would have been better to make this just a "portable sports event."

There is a very old Hollywod saying, "If there is a sword over the fireplace in Act I, it must be used by at least the end of Act III." What this means is simply that nothing should be introduced that doesn't have a greater purpose. It's OK to have some eye candy if it is there to help illustrate the background story, but not if it was just added because "it looks nice."

You get an A on the most important quality in this category: it's gotta be fun!

Now recut per Jeff's suggestions and be prepared to get an A+.

:O)

I liked it.

JJK

Funny.
Just hope nobody from PETA views it!
Or you will be hearing from them!
Fleagrant abuse?

Cool!
I appreciate the reviews and input!
Thanks much!

I liked it, a couple of thoughts/ideas though...

After the two events, wouldn't the score have been 1-1, so how come Ben-Hur won?

Also, just to anger PETA even more, how about an animated flea splatting on the camera lens after he's fired from the canon? I expected that (watching too much Bugs Bunny I guess) and felt let down when it didn't happen.

Quick comment on the titles over the time lapse intro... I'd center the title on the open sky area so that one letter is not lost in the black of the tree there....that is if you keep the intro. I liked it personally - the shadows were cool..but I noticed an inconsistancy with the front door being out of character for a fire escape.

Great vid, loved the "Evolution" move...pure GOLD.

Great!

I actually liked the walking in the beginning. It sets up the traditional "mystery" of a flea circus. Good editing of the multi camera angles with the footstep sounds.

It flowed well for me.

Great flea rap during the credits. I think it would have been funnier after the credits if the loosing flea had to work in a grandfather clock the rest of his life. But that is your creative perogative. Agree with the comment above that if you shoot the flea out of the cannon, at least have a splat mark on the lens.

Wow, that was unexpected.

I think the novelty of flea olympics/sports is novel enough in itself that you don't need the introduction parts (the sunset, the walking scene). They kind of throw the audience off.

I loved it though (especially the credits), and learned something about fleas.

2- How about fake product placements / sponsorships?

3- What about lighting the set like stadium lighting... multiple hard light sources from all directions. I think it would be more appropriate?

I agree about the long winded intro.

What I wanted to see was some more of the fleas, need more light, better macro lenses, more DOF and / or make the shallow DOF work for you creatively, can you rack focus with macro lenses?

Sorry just my techie bent kicking in but I can see some real uses for all kinds of techie kit, micro dollies and cranes. I know some of those 'bug' lenses cost big time, maybe you can come up with something yourself. Also perhaps some of those split focus lenses could get some cool shots or maybe you could fudge that look in post. After all them fleas are the stars, give us more of them fleas, take us into the fleas world, you know the old human (I mean flea) interest stuff.

Bob.

Great job there Mr. Roddy !

Very entertaining and very well put together. The audio track with the announcers ( just ONE guy ?) was really well done. Loved hearing that.

Good editing especially with the close ups of the hands with the full body shots and the close ups of the fleas. I know that kind of thing requires a lot of thought and you handled it well...

The Evolution move was hilarious especially how you added that evolution graphic during the instant replay.

Lot's of fun to watch and very well produced. Thanks for for sharing !!!

Stan

I wanted to thank everyone for their comments, thoughts and ideas!
I've re-edited the piece (but have not posted the new version) and incorporated many of the suggestions.
I can't agree with the comments about ditching the opening because I'm too married to it. I like the build up and, since the typical viewer hasn't watched the piece yet, I don't agree that it distracts from the overall viewing experience. It's my feeling (and based on comments gathered here and elsewhere, that it's a pleasant lead in, taking the viewers along the journey of the briefcase.
At any rate, I worked hard on making that camera look as good as I could, so the piece stays.
As for the other comments about fonts, flea cruelty, typos, (Sorry, Jim H, nothin' I could do about the door discontinuity), etc.
I won't be re-shooting this project, but your ideas will follow me into the next.
I really appreciate the comments!

I'm sure I'm not the only one to want to see the new final... and who cares about the door...only anal video geeks like me would ever notice something like that.

Bob, you can rack focus with macro setups. The way to do it in desktop filming is to leave the lens alone and move the camera. Some years ago did this with a simple setup consisting of a 5Kg cyclinder of steel (125mm dia), a thick glass plate (25mm), and high viscosity silicone oil (30,000 poise). Pour the oil on the glass, place the cylinder on the oil, a pan-tilt head on the cyclinder and (of course) the camera on the head. Of course the cylinder must have a smoothly machined end. Because the oil is high viscosity the assembly can be moved around and stopped very smoothly, and in fact requires a firm steady push to keep it in motion. Very easy to smoothly track little critters and tilting wasn't a problem either (panning was by rotation of the assembly). Control is precise just because reasonable force must be applied.

I did extend the base of the cylinder by glueing on a rectangular base, but I had a 16mm Bolex on top and this might not be needed with a much lighter video camera. Actually I can't remember whether the base I used was aluminium or timber; might have been the latter.

edit: naturally the Bolex had a good through the lens viewfinder so you could see what was in focus. Might be more difficult with DV. DVrack would probably work.

Now that's a neat trick.
i was thinking about the thingy from P+S, think it's called a Skater, really just three skateboard wheels that you can offset the angles of so it goes around in a circle. Great idea except for the price!

There's another gadget that I haven't quite got my head around that lets a camera float on air over a very polished surface, sort of like an air hockey puck, might be easy enough to roll your own, I'm certain the real things costs.

So we've worked out how to get tracking shots of the fleas. Now how do we capture the sound as they gasp for air pulling those heavy loads.