I like it - this is great having people post there work here. Takes a lot of guts man, I'm slowly working up the courage...

Really like your 16 by 9 treatment and backgrounds.

My only real critisism would be the black border around Elton and the varying sizes of the flown in album covers - If it was me I would have made em' all the same size.

Who else wants to show what ya' got?

first off, it looks fantastic. Your typical, professional radio station ad. Nice job, nice colors.

Only issue I have is the split effect at the end where you bring the logo together. Personally, unless you have a separation in words or the image, I tend not to use this, although it's quick in your case, the effect to me doesn't work because the image doesn't work with the effect. Am I making sense? Rather than "split" after the bee, you split into the 101 just barely. to me the split effect should make it look like two separate pieces are joining but it doesn't in this case.

It's really trivial. We all notice it because we eat and sleep this industry.

Mike

not trivial at all.....it kinda bugged me too to be honest. I did it and said to myself...."too hokey", but ended up leaving that way. Thanks for viewing

Very nice chris. A+ The large ID logo is perfect. I liked the ending, may have bounced the bee a little on the closer.... maybe flux the background color a little.

For what it is, a short plug, its OK. Sorry, on a scale of one to ten I can't rate it more than a five, too many small errors. None alone hurt things, but the cumulative effect does take its toll. See more nitypicky critique below.

The wavefrom jumps to 1.08 briefly. So is Vegas incorrect with its built-in monitors, or wasn't it checked or was it checked against something else? Just curious, don't make more of it than that.

If I were being super fussy, the things that bugged me just slightly include:

1. The first two performers both have their top of their heads cut off just a little. Perhaps due to the source material offered.

2. More annoying is the embedded vid that shows Elton John. Its a slighlty different size and a bit lower then the performer to his right. The text for that performer is blured enough that I can't read it and it goes by too fast to read it. That got to hurt. Is it just me? Who can read who the performer along side Elton John briefly to his right is? I really can't make it out.

3. In fact watching further, all the performers appear in slightly different sized windows, there is no symmetry which while a minor point is distracting.

4. The position of the name of the performer varies from being within the window itself to below it. Again, no symmetry, and because there isn't, I find it a little annoying with the names came at your from all over the place.

In summary, it looks rushed, I mean just a tad, tempo wise. If there was color correction of the various artists, could have been done better in my opinion. But hey, that's just my opinion. If its meant to plug the station (I guess) then I would have done more with the bee if that's now or already was part of the station logo. Like have the bee buz his wings, fly off at end, or maybe appear below the performers, look up, approvingly, stuff like that. Again, just my opinion. It isn't bad, but great its not either. Average seems a fair review.

Thanks for those points. I appreciate it. I had not even considered some of the thing you pointed out. Good stuff.

P.S> Why would I plug my radio station here? Am I missing something?

Chris, This was great and I have few other questions for you. Would you mind either e-mailing me or posting your e-mail here? I can be reached at:
rafal AT sevillemedia DOT com

Thanks

Thanks for sharing... great stuff.

re the "bee split"... could you have the bee fly in, then the call letters appear, or is THAT way too hokey?

Pierre

BillyBoy, no matter what the source matterial was with letter box you have to cut off people's head sometimes to make a more pleasing composition,

Chris,
I suppose I could be hypercritial, but bottom line - your target is going to get it....your job is to sell B101 and you have done so in a very effective and professional manner. Rather than make a suggestion from a composition or technical perspective, you might consider trying to work in a soft voiceunder "B101" in a couple of additional places. The name of the game is branding....the easiest way to get this done is repetition. If it's in the can, don't bother. An overall excellent job....BTW, ya doing any collateral along with the spot? There's all sorts of ways to reinforce the branding effort (and other ways for you to make a buck)
Regards - David Bird

Looks like the text that can't be read is original album art. Couldn't easily get rid of that.
I think I would have gottn rid of the NTSC black bars on the edges of the video, though.
I agree with the splitting of the logo.
Interesting effect to get rid of the "seen ablum covers" (light flare of some kind).
Why does the video edges change size near the end when the jingle sings it final, "101." The edges pulse in for a split second.
But overall, looks pro enough for the market I expect it will be seen on. Pleasant to watch and better than most.

"BillyBoy, no matter what the source matterial was with letter box you have to cut off people's head sometimes to make a more pleasing composition,"

Really? Geez, I'll have to write that down so I remember.

Memo to self: If the head don't fit, feel free to cut off a bit.

I guess nobody ever thought to trim a bit off the bottom of the torso.

Memo to self: If the head don't fit, feel free to cut off a bit.
Another memo you may want to make is that it seems to be not only an acceptable but a preferable (I've actually been told by my producer to "cut-off" the top of the head) way of framing a head shot. Along with that shaky cam stuff (ie "Law and Order" "reality" TV shows" etc).
Randy

While I can certainly agree on an anal level with many of the minor critiques offered by our esteemed colleges, overall I'd hafta say it was a great spot for any local radio station. Seems to me that many often drop the ball completely when it comes to television advertising, quite regularly seeming to turn out some of the cheapest of the cheap looking ads.

Not to discount the observations of others, all great stuff to keep in mind, but don't go kicking yourself either. Remember that your audience here is not your average television viewer and these folks are legally bound to be more critical.

- Ray

www.undergroundplanet.com

I agree with Ray completely. And most movie directors and producers always say that a movie is never "Done." It's just time to stop working on it.
But he did ask for our opinions. I know that on things I consider "completed," I still want direct observations as to how I could have done better. I'll keep those things in mind for the next project (I'll even print some things out so I dont' forget). With very few acceptions, I think all of the above suggestions are constructive and helpful and put in a positive way. They were to me, anyway. I'd love this kind of feedback.
And I think, overall, we all liked it.

Rafal,

Thanks. I'm at conleyradio@comcast.net.

Guys...all your comments are awesome. I'm only a year into this. So, everytime I do something I learn a ton.

Thanks again.

Chris

Billy you sound like a dude who doesn't cuts off the heads "oh because we can't screw up with important people's faces." That was an anal sugestion to make so you gotta accept that some people will point that out.

Oh mirror, mirror on the wall, tell us all, once and for all,
given a choice, what to do, snip someone's head, alright with you?
No, no, I think not such a clever plan, trim from the bottom, whenever you can.
Touch not my locks from my fair head, please cut away some of my torso instead.

Chris, regarding composition; while artistic works are generally debatable, the standard is to do just as you have done. The rule of thirds effectively demands it, and too much headroom leaves too much of the frame open, and unless you've got reason to open that much space in the shot, you shouldn't. DOF in the image also suggests you don't leave headroom.

courses also usually suggest this. Herbert Zettl, father of modern broadcast education has a great segment in "Television Broadcast" edition 4, but edition 5 is hitting the streets in a few weeks at NAB.
Steven Ascher also has a great pictorial guide and a discussion with several directors and a psychologist on the subject.
Finally, Peter Ward's book and DVDs (which are recognized as the "bible" of picture composition now in it's 3rd edition) Ward describes the feeling of "wanting to look over the shoulder" of a subject that has too much headroom. The hairline is the general target, otherwise the psychological pull of the viewer is to the top of the screen where there is generally nothing found, and it also creates a diminuative view of the subject. He quotes Hitchcock in his writings, discussing the point of equilibrium being skewed when "the subject is in balance with the invisible forces of the frame."
This is one book I highly recommend. Focal Press, "Picture Composition for Film and Television" and the new edition has widescreen to 4:3, and Widescreen to widescreen covered very heavily in the book. Great demonstration of shifting aspect ratios as well, makes one want to really get creative with aspect.
Good job again, Chris, better than the last one, IMO

amen to that.

Cropping foreheads has been used overtly by graphic designers for a while. Some people like that look, some not. Somewhat unrelated, my wife, would try to help me with portrait drawings, she told me that the eyes are closer to the center of the head..something sometime overlooked.