OT: Using Vegas/Ultra - commercial feedback?

ken c wrote on 6/19/2005, 10:19 AM
Hi -- I just finished rendering this infomercial-style 3-minute ad spot,
wanted to ask for your feedback on how to make it more professional?

I keyed it in ultra, and used Vegas for all the video editing.

http://sitefomercials.com/

It's ok, but doesn't quite have the professional polish I'd like.. still has some amateurish gaffes... hard to put my finger on it.. just doesn't feel as broadcast-quality slick as I'd like..

any ideas on how to improve this stream? much appreciated..


Ken Calhoun
www.Sitefomercials.com

Comments

Coursedesign wrote on 6/19/2005, 10:35 AM
Just a few quickies:

In the very beginning, it looks like you are floating in the air:
Just key the first few seconds without specifying an Ultra shadow, and copy a shadow from later and composite in.

The bullet points that pop up on the left feel disjoint:
Make them match what you say (should be the same wording for greater emphasis).

The good life on the right feels disconnected:
Introduce it before letting it continue on the side.
No bottle babies for the pool femme obviously, but you may need some beefcake for your female customers if you want to show the good life for them.

ken c wrote on 6/19/2005, 12:02 PM
great points - thanks very much ... points well taken .. agree balance and design element changes... will do re integrating those for the next shoot/revision... appreciate it as always... well thought-out..

right re words/text matching what's spoken, and balance re beef w/cheese etc.. :-) will do

ken
jeff_12_7 wrote on 6/19/2005, 12:37 PM
Ken,

Great job!

Some observations: Your lower thirds have a background that looks like it is crossing out the words within the lower thirds. Maybe a different lower third background would make the words stand out fully.

There was a scene where you are in the middle and you have a PIP on both your right and left. The PIP's are centered nicely on either side, but the phrases above them are not centered over your PIP's (they're close).

One more... when you completely disapear off the screen, you just go like that (snapping fingers....gone). Maybe a quick fade out may work better?

Your voice stands out nicely... when the other male voice first appears, it seems a tad lower in quality...not as good as your voice in quality...

OK, that's it... let me say "wow- great job!"

Jeff
StefanS wrote on 6/19/2005, 4:55 PM
Long-shot to mid-shot at the start of clip and text message being hard to read by background.

I'd try with just a mid-shot throughout the clip and dispense with the long shot. The cut from long to mid doesn't feel right. Humming and arring about your position on the screen, but I think your position should be to the viewer's left side and your verbal message should sync with the other visual information to the viewer's right. Other than that very good.
Stefan
Grazie wrote on 6/19/2005, 11:53 PM
I think a real "classy" thing to do, Ken, would be for you to step to the viewer's left and then you could "introduce" the text comments, as you would if you were the weather man. People have a concept of the weather man - you could capitalise on that too! The other thing, is that your spoken comments, because for me, you don't appear to be recognising the comments coming up, seem dissociated from your spoken words. I end up wanting to watch you AND watch the text! I kinda then loose out on both - yeah? So, interact with the written stuff - then I can relate to what you have written - and it is not JUST an underling of WHAT you are saying. At the moment the text comes up and it appears as if you are "drumming-home" that which you are saying. This is always a turn-off for me - it maybe for others, but not for me. However, if you were "introducing" these concepts as "Values" and "U.S.Ps" for me to benefit from - yeah? - then I would feel you are talking to me rather than at me - yes? Oh, and the other thing, which is the MAIN thing, if you do do the "introducing" concept, you are, subtly showing how effective and intimate your "service" is You are speaking to me as an equal. Now THAT's the point I wanted to make! HAH! Finally got there!

So, in summary, you have an option to make it even more intimate and to make this appear as if you are speaking to me as an equal - this in turn could very well "inspire" me and make me decide to use your services - "Hey, if this guy can sell me his package . . well, I wonder what he could do for me? He's got some talent there!?! I want to buy into that! AND NOW!!!" . . . . see?

. .I got more . . but this is the one thing that I've been thinking about your piece over the last 24 hours . .. .

Love the use of white space - SPECTACULAR! . . . white space sells !

Well done Ken!

Grazie
ken c wrote on 6/20/2005, 6:11 AM
Hey very much appreciated, all the great tips.. I'm taking notes... thanks so much for the thoughtful tips.. they're all outstanding...

I am still learning how to shoot video in short-form spots like this.... new technology... I appreciate everyone's tips on how to polish things up, improve the shots, layouts and the rest of it...


good points re lower thirds, and standing to one side re introducing text... and the rest.. I've added those to the 'shot list' for next update..

ken
Coursedesign wrote on 6/20/2005, 7:06 AM
To look at one very powerful way of having people interact with text, see the "Check into Cash" commercials that are running on several stations in the L.A. area.
dand9959 wrote on 6/20/2005, 8:17 AM
I love seeing this type of quality video used to real purpose on a website. Great job.

I have a couple comments:

Lower thirds...someone mentioned the white line "blocking" the bottoms of the words. I found that distracting. Maybe lose that line.

Have you considered exiting stage left/right at the end of the presentation? I think the beginning is okay...starting from freeze-frame and walking in, but I think a stage exit at the end would be more dramatic than a fade-out.

Enjoyed the swim femme.!...especially the low-angle shot. Hooboy.