On the beach, wear a Hawaii shirt or something like it. A suit looks really out-of-place. Oh, it was only for illustration purposes? Sorry, you're confusing the viewer.

Don't freeze frame the end of a scene with an open mouth (at 2:00 and 2:57).

You present "$850!" and expect the viewer to stick around for a while to hear the $425 special, but you may have lost them already by that time (if they're thinking "I'm not gonna spend no stinkin' $850 for a seminar!"). If you want to use this "special offer", tie the prices together without delay.

5 minutes of one person is a long time for anybody:

a) When you show Michael Fortin on a wall display, zoom in to show him full frame for the next 30 seconds or so while you continue to talk, they don't need to hear what he says.

b) Insert audience footage from previous seminars, it doesn't have to be the same subject. You need to give the viewer a feel for what they will get for their $425. You could even do a "Ken Burns" on a still of the hotel. [Note: the Ken Burns effect was used before Ken Burns was even born, but he got the most recent credit.]

c) The latter also means you need to outline what they are going to get, just as you do in the long text after the video window.

You say "must have Flash 7." Why not encode in Flash 8? You can get the same video quality at a 50-60% lower data rate. Should save you money for hosting.

Reading the text on the web page, it strikes me as being excellent. It contains the necessary elements and presents them well.

Now do the same with your video: present the various parts of the customer's experience if they decide to fork over their hard-earned money. No indirection.

hi - thanks much ... will do re making the improvements you've noted for future clips, excellent feedback ...

I'm trying to get an infomercial-style presentation, and improve the cuts/fades and the rest of it, to make it more professional... lots of practice, will keep trying!

ken

Ken, Here are my thoughts as I watched the video.

The opening shot threw me off balance. Here I think you are standing in front of a nice location and then the location changes behind you but you stay the same. Whoh! Chroma key should be used to give the illusion that you are somewhere you are not, it should not be used show something that defies logic. (only the weather man can get away with that) ;-) If you want to look like you are enjoying the good life at a nice location, stick to one location or you must change position with the location to show you have moved to a different place. If you are trying to show all the great places you can afford to be, make the images an inset so the audience knows they are an illustration and it makes sense when they change.

I also think you need a bigger green screen. There are no full shots of you at all. It’s the same medium shot throughout the whole video. I would have to agree with the other comments; dissolves from you to you to more you just doesn’t work. Show the seminars in action with you voice over. You also talk really fast and then pause at the end between scenes. Why not take a breath in between sentences and talk right to the end. I just had a hard time following you. The delivery just seems very unnatural. Make it more like your Daytrading University promos where you talk slower and show a little of everything. I like those.

~jr

Hey Ken these business ventures get boring for you, we have an opening , or rather will create an opening for a sales position, anytime , part time full time whatever.

good points JohnnyR.. thanks ... I guess I was in a rush that morning to get the shots done... I'll work on pacing, slowing them down for future shoots..

I think what I need to use is a "reference video", of someone who's a great speaker, talking.. like Tony Robbins... watching it right before I do the shots, to compare rate of speech, so I'm not too fast...

ken

Another suggestion, Ken would be to use a real, practical location. You mention Tony Robbins. In his latest with Leeza Gibbons, he's always got someone to toss to. Either her or his clients. I see tons where the host is being interviewed in a livingroom-type setting. As much as a proponent of the whole green screen thing as you are, perhaps its time to try the real world. Have someone interview you ala 20/20. It may appear more natural as well. Just suggestions.

mike