Eugenia's right. My bad.
Though a simple "your version doesn't support what you're trying to do - you need to upgrade" would have sufficed, she is wholly correct in pointing out my error in not identifying the limitations of the software before I purchased it and (more importantly) before I asked questions about it here.
Hey, I think the rule is: as long as you end your post with a smiley face, no offense or ill will intended, right?
All is well... upgrading to 9.0 Platinum today.
Thanks, all!