OT: coming sooner than you might imagine...

baysidebas wrote on 1/5/2006, 7:45 AM
ColdPizza
~ by Scott Lazar

COLDPIZZA

THIS FOOD PRODUCT (FP) IS A COPY PROTECTED FOOD PRODUCT

Thank you very much for purchasing this FOOD PRODUCT and helping the cause of "Anti-Piracy". The components in this FOOD PRODUCT may have anti-eat/anti-reheat function(s). They cannot resold, reheated or stored in unauthorized devices. In order to ensure a high quality food experience, we have added this special technology.

Before consuming, please read the following:

USAGE GUIDELINES:

This FOOD PRODUCT cannot be re-heated using an unauthorized FOOD PRODUCT Reheating (FP-R) device, nor can it be converted into smaller slices for food sharing.

You may not, through the use of external implements, alter the size of the FOOD PRODUCT.

The maximum ratio of FOOD PRODUCT portions is limited to no more than 2.4154219441 servings per person per purchased item. By purchasing this FOOD PRODUCT, you agree in advance to purchase in sufficient quantity so as not to exceed this limitation.

Only officially licensed and legally purchased ingredients and/or toppings may be used in conjunction with this FOOD PRODUCT. As such, you agree not to alter the finished FOOD PRODUCT by either adding unauthorized ingredients or removing any existing ingredients.

By purchasing or consuming this FOOD PRODUCT you agree not to reverse-engineer the FOOD PRODUCT via disassembly for the purpose of obtaining a list of ingredients or calculating the proportions of same.

By purchasing or consuming this FOOD PRODUCT you agree not to independently produce, or aid in the production of, any similar product, whether for personal or commercial use.

This FOOD PRODUCT has been manufactured for usage only in specific FOOD PRODUCT cooking devices and storage containers and might not be usable with the following devices:

* Some FOOD PRODUCT reheaters that have the capability of reheating competing products
* Some microwave heating devices with pre-defined "Pizza" or "Sandwich" buttons
* Any FOOD PRODUCT cookers which operate utilizing Celsius temperature scale
* Some FOOD PRODUCT cookers or reheaters with convection capability
* Some FOOD PRODUCT (FP-R/RW) reheaters designed for use in dormitory settings
* Some portable FOOD PRODUCT carrying containers
* Some serving and/or warming trays
* Some FOOD PRODUCT cleaning devices, such as generic napkins, paper towels or wet wipes-style products
* Some denture products, including partial bridges and unapproved full ceramic teeth replacements

Although you can visually and olfactorally inspect the FOOD PRODUCT, this does not imply that the FOOD PRODUCT can be consumed in all situations. The first time that this FOOD PRODUCT is purchased (either for delivery and/or through the use of a debit/credit card) it will automatically register with the production franchise. In addition, the first time that this FOOD PRODUCT is consumed (not necessarily purchased) it will automatically be registered with the production franchise. Thus, non-competing foodstuffs already registered will not affect eating and purchasing functions.

By purchasing and/or consuming this and any subsequent products, you agree that ColdPizza may share, disseminate and sell to our partners legally obtained demographic data about you and your pizza eating habits.

ColdPizza is designed to be eaten as is or reheated on top of a computer or laptop running the Windows operating system. ColdPizza does not support being heated by placing it on a computer or laptop running either the Mac or a GNU/Linux operating system.

Except for manufacturing problems, we do not accept any exchange, return or refund.

Enjoy your ColdPizza.

Comments

zcheema wrote on 1/5/2006, 8:12 AM
Good one, it has occurred to me that recipes seem not to ave any copyright on them and you can change and alter any bit of them and call them yourselves, what went wrong....
Coursedesign wrote on 1/5/2006, 8:15 AM
I thought that pizza piece was food for thought too.

Recipes or any other writing don't need to be marked with a copyright symbol (since a long time), they are protected anyway. The copyright symbol is more of a courtesy so you know who to ask :O).
filmy wrote on 1/5/2006, 1:30 PM
LOL! Good one! :)
TShaw wrote on 1/5/2006, 9:20 PM
I Love It!! LOL! Thanks.

Terry
PumiceT wrote on 1/6/2006, 6:43 AM
ColdPizza would qualify as HARDWARE, not SOFTWARE, therefore while this analogy is humorous, it is not very accurate. It's apples and oranges. If you have the means to duplicate someone else's hardware (for your own use) no one can stop you. If you sell it and have infringed on any patents or trade marks, then you've got some problems.

There are recipe books and sites that have recipies that come very very close to matching the recipies used in restaurants.
Copy Kat Recipies
Top Secret Recipes
As far as I know, these aren't illegal, and the restaurants probably don't suffer any losses from such information being out there. People go to restaurants for convenience, price and / or atmosphere, not for some secret recipe.

People buy hardware for the same reason - it's not time-effective nor financially reasonable to make our own hardware. Physically possible? Sure.

Software has no simple comparitive analogy. Perhaps it can be equated to ideas or information (duh). You can pass the idea along, and you still have the same idea stored in your head, so you've lost nothing. Once you hear an idea, you know it, and it can't be returned, no matter how bad the idea may be. (The same applies to software. If it sucks, it doesn't matter, you can't return it.)
goshep wrote on 1/6/2006, 7:12 AM
Lighten up Pumice, it's parody.

Good stuff. Good stuff indeed.
PumiceT wrote on 1/6/2006, 8:01 AM
Sorry.

Like I said, it's funny. I just don't deal with poor logic very well.

I can almost see some sort of disclaimer that (for example) Pizza Hut Pizza must not be consumed along with Coca Cola products. What would concern me would be the day someone can actually enforce such ludacris constraints. :eek:
baysidebas wrote on 1/6/2006, 8:30 AM
"If you have the means to duplicate someone else's hardware (for your own use) no one can stop you." Not quite true, attempts have been made. Case in point, a few years back, the manufacturer of a dovetail making jig (for those of you carpenterially challenged, it's a method of joining woodwork so it locks together) tried to prevent purchasers, by means of a EULA, from using the jig to produce more such jigs. I don't know how the case turned out but it sure got a few chuckles out of me.
Grazie wrote on 1/6/2006, 8:50 AM
"Like I said, it's funny. I just don't deal with poor logic very well." - I thought something was either logical or not. Here we are being invited into the realms of "poor" logic? My, my, logic with a touch of threadbaredness, down-at-heel logic, logic with a touch of being borrowed, a kind of hand-me-down logic - how superbly quaint, yet somehow diplomatic . . but then again maybe not.

Ah, were Socrates alive still!

Grazie

fwtep wrote on 1/6/2006, 9:13 AM
>it has occurred to me that recipes seem not to have
> any copyright on them and you can change and alter
> any bit of them and call them yourselves

Actually this past Thanksgiving one of the supermarket chains in Los Angeles had a recipe for cooking a turkey very fast and it had a copyright warning very prominently displayed on the page (i.e. not in super tiny print at the bottom).
TorS wrote on 1/6/2006, 9:14 AM
There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya
'bout the raising of the wrist
Socrates himself was permanently pissed

(yes I copied that from Monty Python)

I really wanted to say those pizzas are only hardware until they are (re)heated. They get very software then.
Tor
Grazie wrote on 1/6/2006, 9:24 AM
lol!
PumiceT wrote on 1/6/2006, 9:24 AM
Funny, Grazie. You're right, though. I suppose "faulty logic" would be more appropriate? Or is that still a misnomer?