I would agree with the audio comment. Use a lapel or a hand held mic- not the on cam mics.

Also, (you may have already done this), make sure you get releases for everyone on the video (including the staff). The children need releases from their legal guardians or else you and your wife's clinic could be sued. Again, you may have already covered this base, but I just want to make sure it was not overlooked.

There was a part where she mentioned state-of-the-art and the video that was displayed was a lady writing on paper. You may want to substitute a different clip at the part. Just a suggestion.

Hope those suggestions are helpful to you.

j razz

I would perhaps do the speak in a studio and just sync the 2 clips where you actually see the person talking.

Personaly I think there is a little too much information told in this short time. I would perhaps cut the information to ½ and make some more small pauses, where you hear the actual sound from the clips of children or perhaps some low backgroundmusic.

You could end it as many today do "for more information visit us at www.xxxx.yy" that is if they have a website. ;)

Also where "call us today" in the end comes it would be good to flash the phonenumber.

Just my 2 cents :-)

/Ulf

why no cu's of the kids enjoying themselves?

I tried to watch it before I read anyone else's comments so I don't have a biased opinion.

1. Background music - you would be surprised how much a little quiet background music can make a difference. I think this is the biggest place you could make gains with this video.
There are lots of places you can pick up pre-made music for this purpose specifically for 20 bucks or less. www.royaltyfreemusic.com is a good example. Just turn it down in the background and let it run! You can also get some pretty cool software to customize royalty free music for your videos. I think its awesome stuff. I use Sonicfire and it is worth every penny of the 200 dollars or so it costs.

2. Better microphones - sound is soooo important to a "commercial" product. A decent lav mic or even a shotgun mic would have made this seem a lot more professional. It almost sounded like you used the on-camera mic?

3. Titling - you need to put some titles of some sort in there. Anything, a phone number, the name of the place, maybe even a logo. Something to accentuate what she is saying.

I thought the picture looked pretty good in most spots.

Use a tripod.

I felt like they were shaking the children, not helping them!

I always hated offering myself up for criticism ( probably because there always seemed to be so much no matter how happy I was with the product :P ).

1) audio, everyone is pretty much right.You've got a few options here:
- Get a mic closer and re-shoot the talking bit *Best solution*
- Keep the footage you have of the speaker and have her do an ADR session *when you can't reshoot*
(ADR [Automated Dialogue Replacement] is essentially just re-recording the audio in a studio type setting while you have the talent watch the footage and say the lines in sync with themselves).
- Keep what you have and just have someone clean up the audio with noise reduction etc... *worst solution*

2) Talent, I've seen very little smiling throughout this entire video, I'd suggest taking a little time ( especially considering how much freedom you probably have there ), and getting people comfortable in front of the camera. The majority of my shooting time is often spent doing this when I'm doing promo work because the people are uncomfortable, and stiff, they aren't having fun, and they're nervous. I try and get rid of as much of that as I possibly can and when we're done for the day, the clients are always happy with the speaking rolls during their videos. Now if you have a truncated time table, then you don't always have that freedom, in which case you may be forced to work with what you've got, but definitely, get them all a little looser if you can.

3) Lighting, there were a couple shots that seemed to have shadows across the faces that stood out to me. Try and pick up a basic white foamcore or nucore, "reflector" if you haven't got a handy flip out reflector ( maybe $50-$100 ), and that can help if you aren't going to run around with lighting, but even a 100watt equivalent light CFL ( through a softener/diffuser when shooting people ) placed properly, can make a huge difference in your images.

Your speaker didn't smile ( that would be a big negative impression to a viewer )

Your B-Roll really looked good for most of the image quality, might re-shoot the panning shot at the beginning ( tripod it, that slant always screams bad hand holding to me, I know cuz I do it when I'm in a hurry... aaaand when I'm not ).

When they list, show the list, almost always (IMHO). A person gets lost in all that information.

I'd really suggest some background music, and a bit of an attention getter intro ( graphic, logo, something other than just a person talking, though that has its place too ).

I hope this helps, I know criticisms can be hard to hear, but better to hear them and improve, than to just get a bunch of pats on the back that tell you that everything is great. Even if it is great.

We can only improve by practicing, but distinguishing between the good and the bad is necessary to make that practice useful, by allowing us to practice the good and not the bad.

Dave

Come and work with me for a week!

Grazie

As most everyone has said, the audio is in dire need of major work.

So, leaving that aside, there's the video. I agree 100% with an earlier poster who asked whether there are any shots of the kids *looking happy*. It all seems a bit slow and grim. Happy music, and maybe push the brightness & saturation up might help a little.

If you can find some happy shots I'd magnify those scenes so you've got some tight shots on happy faces and interesting activities. Everything looks like it's shot from a constant three meters. I'd also ditch the photocopier shot, and the shot of everyone standing around loafing in the kitchen.

Thanks for all the comments - too many to reply to everyone, but I did read them all.

Yes, I used the on-cam mic, I'll see if I can get a boom or lapel.

I told her that I'm sure this would be take #1 of many, but I wanted to at least get some voice to see how it was kinda going to flow.

I did get release forms from all the parents, actually got those from a link from one of jrazz's dentist video I think.

I planned on cutting out the shot of the ladies hanging out in breakroom, but wanted to show some kind of shot with some of the staff.

Thanks again, I knew it'd be rough, but helpful!

Lots of good advice. I'd also recommend getting closer to the narrator for some of her shots for variation. As mentioned, she needs to smile and look inviting. Better sound, lighting, tripod, etc as mentioned in earlier posts.

Also, use motion backgrounds under your text such as Jumpbacks or create something in Vegas if you don't own any. This also adds some variety to your production. Include the facility logo. Although the purpose of the production is the message, little professional touches here and there make a difference. Their video should reflect their level of professionalism.

Mike

Lots of good advice , have to mention it again the audio.Cant stress it enough, and the host smiling,, I know its scripted but try to make her more comfortable,, ask questions and let her answer...kind of lead her to the script for your couple of on cam shots.,, get in a couple a kids faces.. we love smiling kids Watch those windows.. camera was not to shakey for me,, cept the pan of the building could be better, and seeing something in the bottom of the frame in breakroom , stabalizer or mic or somethin , around the minute mark
fwiw
quite good for first draft
good luck!!!

Grazie-You looking to hire?;)

Audio, audio, audio

At least redo the VO stuff.

Dave T2

Boy you sure got a lot of good suggestions. This is the real power of a forum.
I thought the color was good and the number of shots were good. You could work on variety there of far, medium, close, low, medium and high.
Audio has been covered.
As a mom and educator I have to strongly agree with the comments about lack of smiling. Get some audio of those beautiful children giggling and saying their words and numbers.
Don't tell, show the audience, your market, what a great caring learning environment and wonderfully needed service your wife and staff are able to provide.
And yes, let's skip the lunch room seen with the staff member waiving her fork. There has got to be a better "team" shot. Maybe some colabrating over a file between two or three staff members.
And then the close - the request for action - got to include contact info and a smile from your "talent".

Everyone else has said that the audio sux, so I won't mention it here. Really.
The handheld shots are total no-go. USE A TRIPOD! And level it. Dutch rolls are OK in wedding videos since neither the shooter nor the client know any better, but NOT in a professional video.

Never shoot upwards toward your subject, it is a menacing view. Eye level or slightly higher. The facility looks cluttered and disorderly. It should be spotless for the video because viewers may think that if the staff are that lax about food and drinks on their desks, then the subliminal message is that they may not be the right caregiver for their kids.