practice your critical viewing...

wwjd wrote on 6/22/2018, 10:14 AM

2.5 minute drama video. seeks techincal or artistic feedback

Looking for ANY and ALL constructive feedback on this short for all involved. This was written quickly for actors to practice, filmed and edited pretty quickly, but would love to hear how it could look/be better to grow our skills.

Inside poop: the audio was a TRAIN WRECK! Loud constant AC Fan forced me to edit each phrase and word indivudally, and I dont have a "noise cleaner" to make them better, so, dialog is kinda horrid and can't be fixed. But feel free to comment on that also.

Filmed on a RED, edited in Vegas 15

ANY FEEDBACK AT ALL is helpful to get better. Even scathing, negative stuff. Hopefully with some advice to improve it.

BRING IT ON!! (not seeking clicks, seeking FEEDBACK! Seriously!)

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Comments

wwjd wrote on 6/24/2018, 6:57 PM

IAM4UK, I made up the term INDIE FACE as a way to describe the lesser experienced acting I see in many indie films. I recently saw indie face on an actress running away full speed from a deadly situation - NO EXPRESSION what so ever! Same look she had talking to someone earlier. Running from DEATH??? Nothing?? It's a problem. Along with with flat line reading, no inflection, no emotion, no acting, just reading the lines. Ugh. I actually like Ryan Gosling also, but man, does does keep the smug smile thing on a lot. :D So he's my goto example because everyone has seen him that way :D

Rory Cooper wrote on 6/25/2018, 6:19 AM

Eye contact is missing. watch this scene the eyes say more than words do. even if it is a quick glance look at the scene or this scene

wwjd wrote on 6/25/2018, 8:31 AM

Rory cooper, thank you for viewing and providing your input! I totally agree. Sadly, when we shot, we tossed my story boards with a lot better camera angles, in the trash ...for time sake. :( The experienced actor on the right knew how to cheat to the camera, the new actors on the left did not, and, as director, my fault for not pressing that. Lessons truly learned. Thanks!!!

wwjd wrote on 6/26/2018, 8:23 AM

here's the 2nd, 2 minute one. I have a few nit picks, we'll see if it bugs me enough today to fix and rerender.

IAM4UK wrote on 6/26/2018, 8:58 AM

here's the 2nd, 2 minute one. I have a few nit picks, we'll see if it bugs me enough today to fix and rerender.

Some very nice work in this! The overall look of it feels right. Did you use gels on lights, or post-processing filters? Love that opening x-ray, heart image.

I am guessing that running time is a fairly strict limiting factor for the projects you've shared with us? The idea in "Regrets" could be worth an extended look. Typically, the emotional impact will hit the audience when these types of things happen to people they have some baseline familiarity with, rather than strangers they only get to observe during the crisis moment itself. Within only 20 seconds, you've got a character sharing the exposition that they may have been targeted by a nuke.

Not to creep on "Katy," but her line about never having been kissed stretches credulity to the point that it might motivate a laugh from the audience, where you are actually going for a feeling of lament.

Very nice work, [[MENTION:72427]] !

wwjd wrote on 6/26/2018, 11:06 AM

Thanks for watching and commenting again, IAM4UK. I liked this one much better, but know it flops in a number of ways. Yes, trying to stick lots of dynamic acting into a two minute story, kinda makes a mess. :D rushing to the over reactions so quickly and all...the couple on the left got separated by a table - but they were supposed to be more "together". More of her connecting actions got lost from script and story boards, so her relationship and the impact of him calling out for KAREN instead of needing Linda, are lost. Same at the end - her shadow should be shaking her head and walking away, but I missed a shot of her looking down. So much great learning happens doing these.

And the kiss... the delivery and placement of that line, AWKWARD! :D Yes, wasn't supposed to be funny, but I understand that reaction. And my script needed a less made up girl, but that didn't work out. :) I'm hoping to step up the game on these and do way better, by taking more time in the future.

The most fun I had was dropping the ceiling crap in the room. MOST of that was practical, just added sparks and sound effects. I love that kind of filmmaking!

wwjd wrote on 6/26/2018, 11:09 AM

oh, no Gels, the Red lights are RGB LED Wands, and another bouncing 5600k off ceiling on right. and a 600w hmi to shine in the dark room at the end. Audio was a lot better too. Discovered the mic on the camera had a 10 foot cable attached so we movedit way closer to actors. Duh on us.

One minor T&O LUT was used on the bright lobby after a lot of color grading.

IAM4UK wrote on 6/26/2018, 11:21 AM

@wwjd That is very, very cool! I imagine these are fun to create. You do show genuine professional knowledge of how to visually tell a story.

wwjd wrote on 7/2/2018, 9:22 AM

I like this one better for many reasons. comment only if you feel like it. not gonna keep milking this :)

IAM4UK wrote on 7/2/2018, 10:10 AM

I like this one better for many reasons. comment only if you feel like it. not gonna keep milking this :)

Can you specify the differences? The old version is unavailable

wwjd wrote on 7/2/2018, 2:30 PM

added more color, tightened up some stuff, removed sharpening on dark scene that caused more noise at 4k

IAM4UK wrote on 7/3/2018, 3:38 PM

I did notice the color enhancements. It all looks very good. Nice work!