Thank you Pmasters Please Read

cjacks0n wrote on 2/21/2005, 8:21 PM
I would like to introduce myself as I am new to this forum and basically the video business. I was turned on to this forum a couple months ago by one of your members who did volunteer work at our local hospital.
I used to work on the runways at the airport until I was hit by a drunk driver last summer and had to have my legs amputated. Being single, I had no urgent need for insurance and I was a victim of a hit and run and the driver has still not been caught.
Losing my legs sent me in to a major bout of depression as everything in my life had changed. The little things I used to take for granted I could no longer do. I couldn't walk to the mailbox or shoot basketball with my friends. The dream of one day teaching my child to run and play ball has all but vanished. I am only 24 so I haven't had much of a chance to search for what I wanted to do as a career. Movies and films have always intersted me but I never thought I would ever have the chance to have that as a career.
Now that I have bored you with things about me, I want to give recognition to the person who has given me hope to try to fulfill my dream of being a director.
Pmasters was the volunteer who used to help out. While I was depressed, he tried everything to cheer me up. He asked what I wanted to do with the rest of my life since I had been given a second chance by the grace of God. Immediately I knew films was my calling. He would talk about movies and great films just to get me out of the funk I was in. Strangely, I felt as if I was living vacriously through his hopes and dreams.
No insurance and no driver to bring to justice, I quickly found myself with no way to support myself financially. Disability barely covers the bills and i was afraid I was stuck living hand to mouth for the rest of my life.
I shared my decision to do films for a living and Patrick was very supportive. He brought me a ton of books to read and learn during my recovery. The more I read, the more I gained an appreciation for video editing and the art of story telling. For Christmas, I was given a laptop with a copy of Vegas so I could learn how to do all the cool stuff I was reading about. That was awesome of him to do that for me.
Amazingly enough, a week ago, Pat had came to visit me after his surgery bearing more gifts. This one was the ultimate gift in it being a Sony FX1 HDV camera. My mouth salivated for the last couple months as I heard him talk about all the quality the camera puts out and more amazed when he showed me some of the footage. I was shocked since this is the camera he has jawed about and here he gets one and gives it to me.
I would like for this forum to know what an incredible human being he is. I don't think anyone has ever been that unselfish towards me other than my own parents. His act of kindness has not only given me restored faith in the human race but he has provided a man who may be disabled physically but not creatively. I read through some of his older posts and the stuff he went through when he was in FL and it brings tears to my eyes to see how he had suffered yet still chose to help someone else out before himself. He has inspired me be a better person. 4 months ago, I thought my life was over then he made me see that my life has just started.
Patrick, I know you had asked me not to make a big deal out of this but I felt it was important to share your generosity with everyone else so that you may continue to inspire everyone to continue to help their fellow man in their quest for the big screen. I truly pray that one day soon you are as blessed as I am so your projects can see the big screen like we had talked about. I do feel bad that you are sacrificing your dreams so that I may live my dreams. You are a true saint, more so a true friend. Thank you for everything and I hope you aren't upset that I shared this story with those here.
To everyone else, I hope to absorb the amount of knowledge that he has and hope to one day be able to give something back and give that knowldege to future new users. Oh yeah, please, take a moment to appreciate the things you have and your health as it can all change in a heartbeat. It will be hard for me to reach my dreams of producing a movie with my disability but I will use it as motivation to make my own success.
Somone once told me a story about a man who complained about not having any shoes then he met a man with no feet. Please cherish the gifts God has given you.

Chad Jackson


cjacks0n wrote on 2/21/2005, 8:25 PM
Sorry but how to you edit the subject line?
cjacks0n wrote on 2/21/2005, 8:50 PM
I found it. Thanks anyway.
theforce wrote on 2/21/2005, 10:12 PM
Wow, that's one incredible story! Hope you guys both live your dreams.
p@mast3rs wrote on 2/22/2005, 6:22 AM

Dont mention it. Brother, you are truly one amazing individual. With what you have gone through, I have yet to hear you complain one time about the hand that life has dealt you. Most people would complain about not being able to walk again but you celebrate the fact you are able to live again.

I hope you enjoy the camera. May it bring you the amount of joy and happiness and more importantly, the avenue to capture your creative mind.

I appreciate the wishes for success but my film career is pretty much over at this point. I take solace in knowing that the greatest success I could ever have achieved was the look on your face when I gave you the cam. If you really want to thank me, write and produce a good script someday and then give me a job so I can get me another cam. Then we will call it even.

I should be thanking you. Ever since I met you, I have learned to be grateful of everything I have and not care about the things I dont have.You'll also be happy to know that I am setting up a scholarship program that will award $2000 a year for an applicant with a disability who wants to attend a film program at an accredited school. I am proud to announce the Chad Jackson Fellowship will be awarded starting in 2006.

To everyone else, I did not do this for any accolades. I did this because it's the right thing to do and I challenege everyone to help make an impact not only in the films and projects that they do,but with the people that they come in every day contact with.

Bless you all.
Lili wrote on 2/22/2005, 7:32 AM

Quite a story about your friend, but what has me totally puzzled is when you casually say that your "film career is pretty much over"! Did I miss a post somewhere?

I've been following with great interest your blossoming film career fueled by your intense enthusiasm to direct and produce a film from a script you wrote. You may recall I referred you, not that long ago, to read a newspaper article, (which you did read and applaud), on the guy who "did it all" when he made his film on a super low budget,. I thought it might give you some encouragement to keep going because you were expressing some doubts and anxieties about which direction to go, and whether you could do it on your own, etc. A lot of people in the forum wanted you to succeed and offered all sorts of tips and advice on a wide range of topics whenever you asked.

I hope you haven't given up on your dream. You know that film -making is one of those careers that is in your blood, and if you're not doing it, it's on your mind, and likely will be forever the thing you want to be REALLY doing.

I was SO shocked by your statement, that it has crossed my mind that what you write here is somehow a big joke ---but it's too early for April Fools, and it would be a pretty weird joke in any case.

Perhaps some in this forum, (people who have known you for a long time) are not surprised by this total turnaround on your part, since they may have had communications with you in person or emails, whatever, but I don't think I'd be the only one reading this who has followed your previous posts asking him or herself, "What the heck happened???!"

PDB wrote on 2/22/2005, 7:58 AM
I am too touched by your experiences....

And I've been thinking about it....Both your live's stories together may be a good start to a script if you ask me...parallel lives, dream of film-making, and the actual implied irony in the actual creation of the film (in Patrick's case...) Does it make any sense? Why not put it on film?
p@mast3rs wrote on 2/22/2005, 8:13 AM

I guess reality happened. Sadly, I have come to realize I am one of many fish in a huge ocean hoping to hit it big. The only thing stopping me before was the lack of equipment to film with.

We got our tax return back and I was going to use that money to start my own film company (camera, lighting, etc..) but then I did a lot of soul searching and had to decide what was more important in this world. I could buy a FX1 and film my projects and succeed or fail. Regardless, I would always have teaching to fall back on. In Chad's situation, his opportunities were even more limited than mine. Call it crazy, call it kindness, but it was something I felt compelled to do.

My film career is over, actually, it never truly got started. I am ok with that. But when you add up all of life's problems and bills, its kinda hard to start a company when you have a wife, two kids, and a brand new one on the way. Sometimes being a man is realizing that everything else comes first before your own dreams and the ultimate success is when your sacrifices bring joy and smiles to other people.

I could always hold off on my career until my kids gorw up and graduate and leave home but by that time, we are looking at 18-20 years and by that time, the business will have changed drastically.

You're right when you say it's in your blood and I will always wonder if I could have made it. The truth is, films are way too expensive to treat as a hobby and the lack of funds as my children grow up will always prevent me from being able to put into any project that it needs to thrive and turn a profit.

I am still going to keep learning and editing with the hopes that one day, I'll win the lottery or fall into some cash. But right now, I feel more at peace with myself than I ever have before. Its hard to explain. I helped give a man a future who thought he had none after a tragic accident. The smile that gives me is far greater than any film I could ever make or any amount of money I could ever have.

Guys like Spot were right that it takes more than just one person to make magic happen on the big screen. So I did what I could to make magic happen by myself in my sacrifice in real life. I just hope that my generosity is contagious and will inspire others to do their part in helping others live their dreams.

p@mast3rs wrote on 2/22/2005, 8:17 AM

Thanks but there's absolutely no parralel to Chad and mine's lives. He has suffered far greater in six months than I have my entire life.

While it might make for a good script, personally, I feel putting it on film lessens the sincerity of the contribution. I got all the validation I needed when he smiled and cried when I handed him the camera. Ill be further validated when he produces his first project and tastes success. That's all Ill ever need. :)
cjacks0n wrote on 2/22/2005, 9:43 AM
Now I feel bad. I did not realize that his kindness meant him giving up his dreams. Pat, don't give up your dreams. You have a lot of talent to share with the world and it's not fair that I get the chance to do what you have always wanted to do. Reason with yourself and I am positive you'll find the answer to keep driving forward.
p@mast3rs wrote on 2/22/2005, 9:52 AM
Everyone relax. I am not giving up on my dreams, just the pursuit of them. As I said, pursuit is pretty much over unless I come in to some sort of windfall or someone leaves me a fly camera in their will, both which will never happen.

I appreciate the encouragement but please stop. The decision to face reality is hard enough but much harder when people keep saying not to give up. In any successful business venture capital is needed. I chose to invest my capital elsewhere and have no regrets about it.

Maybe someday 10 years down the road some company will read about the success of Chad and how he got his start and throw me a bone then. Really though, I am ok with it. Now I have a lot more time to spend with my family since my life doesnt revolve around making a movie or getting investors.
nickle wrote on 2/22/2005, 9:54 AM
Why don't the two of you team up and go with your strengths?

One is obviously better suited as a Videographer and one as an editor/director/producer.

Dreams are dreams and reality is reality.

Spreading dreams around is nowhere near achieving goals.
p@mast3rs wrote on 2/22/2005, 10:52 AM
Really guys, Im ok with this. God will provide for me whether it be in videos/films or teaching or whatever else he has planned for me.

Maybe Ill get lucky and find a low priced used GL2/VX2100/DVC30 or something someday or maybe someone will start a rent to own video camera store. Places like Rent A Center only carry the crap cameras and absolutely nothing along the prosumer line. They refuse to even special order it and I was willing to pay much more than the normal double cost they normally charge for their products. That's why I decided to just throw the dream in the closet with the rest of them.

So unless anyone knows a place that you can rent to own video cameras without needing a security deposit, good credit, etc... the dream is pretty much over. I thought with the new HDV cameras out that lots of the early buyers would be unloading their older model cams but it apears like many are holding on to their cams while they make the transition to their new HDV cams.

However I disagree. Spreading dreams have been the most fulfilling thing thus far in my life. I gave someone else a chance and in turn gave them hope for a prosperous future that they thought they would never have. I made a difference in someone else's life and to me, that is the greatest goal anyone could ever achieve.
nickle wrote on 2/22/2005, 10:56 AM
This isn't making much sense.

Are you saying cjackson wouldn't lend you the camera?
PumiceT wrote on 2/22/2005, 11:00 AM
I think nickle hit the nail on the head. Combine your talents and efforts, and those dreams get even more attainable. Sure, it may take 5-10 years to finish a project (while P takes care of his family), but it sounds to me like a win-win situation.

Either way, best wishes to the both of you. Glad to see such positivity here.
PossibilityX wrote on 2/22/2005, 11:04 AM
Pmasters, I respect whatever move you want / need to make.

Do you mind if I ask a question---and I respectfully invite anyone to answer, as I'd truly appreciate the input.

Are projects valid ONLY if they're "big?" If they're "Hollywood big?" I have the feeling some people feel their work isn't "good" or "valid" unless they become rich and / or famous as a result of the work, or win awards, or some combination thereof.

Pmasters, I'm not suggesting you are one of those folks---please don't misunderstand. I only ask because you say "Sadly, I have come to realize I am one of many fish in a huge ocean hoping to hit it big," and "Guys like Spot were right that it takes more than just one person to make magic happen on the big screen."

True. But my question is, is hitting it big or having a project on the big screen as important as having fun and making perhaps a LITTLE BIT of money and, (most important to me) exercising one's creativity? No disrespect meant to anyone who wants to go big-time; I just wonder.

I never played pro football but I loved sandlot pickup games. I learned a lot and had lots of fun. Making it big was never a consideration. Same with video. I am having the time of my life and absorbing info like a sponge. I shoot and edit until my eyes ache. I'm convinced I'll never make even the "small time." That's fine. I just want to get better and learn more.

Again, I appreciate your contributions to MY education via your many posts and I'm not knocking your decision or the way you think about things. I just really puzzle about this idea some people (not neccesarily you) have that if it ain't a mega-production, it ain't worth doing at all.
boomhower wrote on 2/22/2005, 11:56 AM
"Are projects valid ONLY if they're "big?" If they're "Hollywood big?" I have the feeling some people feel their work isn't "good" or "valid" unless they become rich and / or famous as a result of the work, or win awards, or some combination thereof."

I just did a project last week that I won't make one dime on but when I showed the final product to the person I made if for, they cried after watching it (that was a good thing). The feeling I gained from that was better than had I been paid for the video. Being able to take footage, put it together and have someone experience a particular emotion or range of emotions is extremely satisfying to me personally. On top of that, I learned a few things while making the project.

In the long run, it's the projects like that (along with a few flops) which help you reach the point you are striving for in a creative field such as this. You don't have to make money to gain something from the process in my opinion. We all want to get paid but sometimes the journey itself is payment enough.

Just my opinion to the question posed above....

rontvs wrote on 2/22/2005, 11:58 AM
I agree with Nickle, it seems to me your friend would at least loan you the camera that you gave to him. This way you could make money and get both of you guys even better cameras and maybe more. It would just make sense and be a logical solution. I can't believe he wouldn't be willing to loan you the camera in an instant whenever you need it, sounds great to me. Good luck on your projects.


p@mast3rs wrote on 2/22/2005, 12:52 PM
Guys, its ok. I didnt give the camera to him so I could turnaround and borrow it. While I am sure he wouldnt object to my using the camera, I didnt do it for me. If Chad ever wants to work together I would be happy to do so but its not necessary.

To the question above about hitting it big, it does have some importance but not as much as I may make it sound. While I would love to make millions, Id be happy to break even or even a small profit so I could use on future projects. When I said Ill never make the big time I meant that I dont feel my stuff is good enough to compete with the big boys and I am ok with that.

While it would be nice stay around here in Cincinnati and work with Chad, I will most probably be moving back to Florida here soon to teach full time so working together could only be during the summers and I would prefer to take that time and spend it with my kids (no offense Chad :) )

Since the career aspirations are over, I have several projects for anyone interested. A couple TV shows and three scripts (one of them is almost done and the other two are finished. If anyone wants them, feel free to ask. Credit is all I ask for and the chance to see them on dvd/film someday.

I probably wont be hanging on the board much any more as i feel it will be easier to deal with my decision. Besides, talking shop with you guys always gets the creative juices flowing. Thanks to everyone for the great conversations and tips. I will surely miss them and the friendships that developed here. Also apologies to anyone I have ever offended in a thread or with my thoughts and beliefs.

If anyone ever wants to drop me a line, feel free to reach me at

Keep editing guys and hope to see everyone's work sometime..
mark2929 wrote on 2/22/2005, 1:07 PM
Patrick I thought your Film Script was excellent How about writing some shorts and letting People use them for some of the Festivals as long as your name is put up.... I reckon you have a very Imaginative Mind and Succes with Script writing could bring enough Financial success to Invest in making a Film...
rontvs wrote on 2/22/2005, 1:57 PM
I read your previous posts like Chad did. Knowing how bad you wanted a camera like this, don't let moving to Florida make it impossible for you guys to work together. Here's an idea, at least the camera could be sent UPS or FEDEX back and forth between you guys and then some productive work could then come about. If you are worried about shipping such a very expensive camera then just get the insurance. I have shipped some pretty delicate and expensive equipment often, with absolutely no problems at all. It's just an idea that could solve everything. Maybe Chad would be interested? Hint...Good luck...


FrigidNDEditing wrote on 2/22/2005, 2:57 PM
Fact of the matter is, that this would make a great script. Just doctor the ending so that chad makes it big in his disired profession.

FrigidNDEditing wrote on 2/22/2005, 3:27 PM
It has everything that you need:

Normal guy
Terrible Accident
Depths of despair
Fellow man does whatever he can to help
and that's the turning point.
Acidentee works hard
overcomes the odds
and is now a big success.
and, now "little guy" friend is given the gift of a dream setup and is finally able to live out his dream without worrying about financial stressors. (like I said, a doctored ending)

Would sell great. Feelgood movie of the year

Or you could have it go in another direction where "little guy" grows old and has had a happy life with his family and kids, and in the very end he and "made it big director guy" are sitting at the ocean in about 40 years, and they sit there and talk and made it big guy says something about how he kinda feels bad for little guy, and little guy goes into a "memory's of what he's done" (showing him with his kids growing up: first bike ride, birthdays, growing old with his wife, etc... Scene),then it comes back to little guy, and little guy says I wouldn't have had it any other way (or I wouldn't have missed my life for the world - showing that even though the dreams we have don't always happen, the life we live is sometimes better than anything we could have imagined), and they both smile as they continue to talk and the music comes up and you can't really hear what they say, but they laugh as the camera's pulling away from them and the sun is rising (They'll be those old guys that get up really early by that point ;-) Giving the feel of a new day coming or make it come across as a sunset and the end of two successful lives in their sunset years.

Anyway - Just a thought
(in no way is this meant to demean the situation, actions, or people being referenced to)
PossibilityX wrote on 2/22/2005, 3:28 PM
Another angle:

Shoot it as a documentary. No hurry. It took Terry Zwigof seven years to shoot CRUMB.